Man with badge: Hello, I am with the Official Bangkok Bureau of Tourism Department.
Me: The what?
Man: I am an official tour guide for the city.
Me: I don't need a tour right now.
Man: All other tour guides are illegal and will steal your money. I am official, so where would you like to go?
Me: I'll come back if I need a tour guide.
Man: OK, remember I am an offical guide. I am the best.
Man in normal clothes: Hello, I am with the Tourist Police. Where are you going?
Me: To Chinatown.
Man: Sorry, Chinatown is closed today. I know a better place to go.
Me: I was just there earlier today. It was open.
Man: Oh, well it just closed, so you should take this taxi to this address.
Me: I think I'll just walk.
Man: But I am a Tourist Policeman!
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